Time, space, logistics are all just circumstantial in the Ex Universe

I often wonder how I would react if I ever saw my ex's.  Like the author of this article, I think I would feel compelled to punch, shout obscenities, or kick my "bad" ex where no guy wants to be kicked just because he hurt me so bad.  Or I might run, hide, and cry like she did. I don't know nor do I think I'll ever find out . . .  Simply due to the logistics of it all. Boy, does that  make me happy! Last week marked our one year since our break up.  It was a little rough on me, but, in the end, having dated him and gone through the break up the way that it happened, it has made me a much better better person.  I sure learned a lot about life and love . . . people in general.

It's just weird how we can love someone so much, then hate them so much.  I hope that I can get to a point where I don't completely hate my ex. I feel like he used me, and the one thing he promised he would never to do me, he did.  The pain has definitely eased over the past year, and I don't get upset when I think about him.  I, mainly, just hold anger towards him.  I'm sure I'll eventually forgive.

Anyway, the author also speaks of another ex, whom she met up to catch up on life.  I often think about my college boyfriend, and what meeting up with him would entail.  We've casually messaged and emailed back and forth over the past year or two.  I feel like I got a lot of closure through one of our last interactions.  He would be someone who I would want to run in to. I think he's a great person, and I, truly, wish all the happiness in the world.


Girl Talk: Assorted Notes On The Dreaded Ex Run-In - The Frisky:

"It’s funny how you can love someone, then hate them, then be furious with them, long for them, mistake them for every stranger on the street, obsess over scenarios of running into them, and never have it happen until the exact moment that it does. And it’s fine.
When a relationship dies, it leaves cosmic matter behind that keeps on existing and evolving in some hidden universe somewhere. Every once in a while, you’re reminded of its existence for a moment, and then poof! Back into the ether! Time, space, logistics are all just circumstantial in the Ex Universe."

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Hide Away

I am obsessed with Hide Away by Ben Rector. I think I've listened to it on repeat for the past couple hours . . . .

Hide Away 

I got a mind full of questions 

that just won’t let me be.

I am weary from the restless heart inside of me.

I never cared about believing 

until I see I’ve lost my way 

and then my troubles all around me,

 and all that I can say 

see me through another day 

though the devil’s calling.

I need a place to hide away 

from the storm. 

When the water’s rising, 

when the sun don’t shine, 

I need a place to hide away 

and some peace tonight.

Found out life was complicated, 

all gray and black and white. 

Sometimes I want to follow Jesus, 

but sometimes he’s hard to find. 

I never cared about believing 

until I see I’ve lost my way 

and then my troubles all around me 

and all that I can say, 

you see me through another day 

cause the devil’s calling.

I need a place to hide away 

from the storm. 

When the waters rising, 

when the sun don’t shine, 

I need a place to hide away 

and some peace tonight.

When the waters rise around me, 

when my worry is all I see, 

oh yea,

 I call your name 

and you came and found me. 

Through the darkness I can see 

ohh 

I can see 

ohh 

won’t you lead me through another day 

cause the devils calling.

I need a place to hide away 

from the storm. 

When the waters rising, 

when the sun don’t shine, 

I need a place to hide away 

and some peace tonight. 

I need a place to hide away 

could you bring me some peace tonight.

The kindness of strangers

This story reminds me that I was in this situation not that long ago ...

Good Samaritan killed in crash along I-465 - 13 WTHR:
This is how the man who died is remembered.  Sounds like the was a great GREAT man.
"I am honored and consider myself fortunate to have known the man who was killed in this accident. Always smiling and uplifting, he was a gentle man with a kind soul and a huge heart who would go out of his way to help anyone, as everyone can now see. I find solace in knowing that he is given honor in death because he was a man of honor. I will never forget the day I met him, my first day on the job, and it's hard to accept that his smiling face will no longer greet me every work day. I will also never forget the kindness and respect he showed not only to me, but to everyone he met. He is loved and deeply missed by many. We love and miss you, D; you will always remain in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. My heart aches for your family, especially your fiance, daughter, and brother."

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Not too long ago, I was stranded at the side of the road during rush hour.  It was a really beautiful day and I was on my way back from Columbus after spending most of the week there between summer and fall semester. I had been speeding quite a bit to make it to a concert on time.   I was 4 or53 miles away from my exit when the tire pressure light came on. I thought that perhaps one of the tires was low on air and planned on checking that out as soon as I got home.  Then, not even a few minutes later, I heard the tire blowing out.  So, I pulled over to the shoulder as soon as I could.

I got out of the car and assessed the situation. I attempted to put the spare on, but there was no way for me to get the lug nuts off. I was stuck.  So, I called my uncle and asked him for help.  He was coming from Columbus, so it would be at least an hour before he would be able to help me.  So I went into the car and was perusing the interwebs on my phone waiting for him to get there.

I had only waited for about 10 or 15 before there was a knock on my window.  Some guy stopped to put my flat on for me.  I wanted to send him a gift card or something for stopping to help me out. But he wouldn't let me do so.  I don't even know his name, but I am very thankful that he took time out of his day to help me out.  All he said to me was, "I have a daughter who's about your age. If she ever finds herself in your situation, I would hope someone would do the same for her."

So, today is great day for to remember what he did for me.  Things could have turned out much differently than they did.  I got my flat during rush hour traffic and there were cars zooming by the whole time I was stranded.  I'm thankful that nothing more serious happened to us.

Why is there, still, so much hate?

Why is there, still, so much hate? This makes me so sad.

Bullied Teen, Who Once Made An "It Gets Better" Video, Commits Suicide | The Frisky:

"Heartbreaking news: a teen who once made a video for the “It Gets Better” Project committed suicide yesterday after dealing with ongoing harassment because of his sexual orientation. Jamey Rodemeyer, 14, of Buffalo, NY, had been questioning his sexuality for some time and recently blogged: “I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?” Apparently, Jamey’s family was aware of the harassment he faced from classmates and were working with Williamsville North High School officials as best they could to help him . . . Jamey is the second Williamsville North High School student to kill himself this year, but school officials said that they’ve done all they could and while they offer counseling to students, they are not a “mental health facility.”"
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Hey life,

You can slow down at any moment. I would really appreciate that. Thanks a bunch!

Sincerely,
Me

That puncture wound that's healed over as a scab ...

Girl Talk: On Carpetbombing A Relationship | The Frisky:

"But if Caitlin is any indication, it is not pleasant to be the carpetbomber, either. That doesn’t excuse his behavior, or hers, but it explains a little bit why people do the things they do. She isn’t shrugging; she actually feels extremely guilty. It’s been years since her own breakup and she still feels terrible about what she did. I only hope her ex-boyfriend is at the same place that I hope to be someday: that he looks back on that time of his life, on that puncture wound that’s healed over as a scab, and he just shrugs."

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Still one of my favorites . . . Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer http://bit.ly/bZO8xW

You spin my head right round

I've been having trouble with this post . . . it's been in draft mode for a couple weeks now, and I can't seem to find the words to pull my thoughts together. I'm going to try to pound it out.

Over the past few weeks, things have really slow down for me. I was running on adrenaline all summer and now that things are slower, I'm having a hard time getting back into it.  I haven't done any school work, even though I've had tons of time to do so.  Instead, I'm procrastinating ... like usual.  This stresses me out.

Life is taking over and has been constantly on my mind.  At times it feels as if it is spinning out of control.  The moment I start planning for the future with various expectations of what I want is the moment we are reminded that life doesn't work that way. I have been reminded of that at various different instances in my life.  The biggest one that comes to mind is when I lost my job last year.  At that moment I was looking for another job and possibly considering a total career change.  I sensed that my time there was almost over. Anyway, the day before I was let go, I had applied to nursing school kind of on a whim.  I had considered it before, but never seriously.  So I took that as a sign that I was headed in the right direction.  So, even though I had never seriously considered nursing, I was kind of pushed into that direction.  I'm pretty sure that if I had not lost my job, I never would have stopped working to go back to school. At that  moment in my life, I was still kinda-sorta-maybe hoping the med school thing would happen. But like I said, whenever I try to make plans, I'm reminded that there are other things that I should be doing with my life.

I feel like things are always out of our control, but we still get to make our own decisions.  I know, I know ... they're opposites.  I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I do get to make my own decisions and what I think is right. But if those things that I decide on aren't "right," I'm brought back towards the right direction. I think in life I just have to trust.  Trust that things will work out. Trust that the experiences I have . . . whether positive or negative . . . are for the best and will lead me into the right direction.

"Whatever you want, darling."

Guy Talk: Learning To Be A Husband, Not A Son | The Frisky:

"When I lived with wives and girlfriends past, I’d quickly cede control over our living arrangements. What went where, and what got done when were decisions I wanted my partner to make. I thought I was being accommodating, telling myself and her “You know, honey, you care more about this (the color of the sheets, what kind of plants to have outside, what we have for dinner) than I do; why don’t you decide?” And my wife or girlfriend would make a decision, and whether I liked the decision or not, I didn’t have much to say about it either way. When pressed for my opinion, my favorite response was “Whatever you want, darling.” Of course, I liked having everything done for me. My wife or girlfriend maintained the relationship, kept things running, and in the cases where we lived together, made the major decisions about the house. I said loving things, made money, bought flowers occasionally, and did my best to be faithful. That, I figured, was my part."

Interesting article.  How can couples move from this into an "adult" relationship.  I never realized that this was one of the problems in my previous relationship, but through these outside eyes, I can see one of the flaws from the past.

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100 YEARS / STYLE / EAST LONDON

Cool :)

Pure Nourishment

Pure Nourishment: "Hayley Darby founded Pure Nourishment, nutritional therapy practice in 2007. PURE NOURISHMENT is devoted to empowering people to reach their full potential through improving nutritional status and feeding the soul...xx"

I recently found this page on FB, and I really like it. It gives me much encouragement when things don't feel right. It's always a pick me up.

Here are my favorites from the past day or so ...

Each one speaks to me for different reason.

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