As we chatted and got to know each other, I found out that she was working with inner-city, underprivileged kids in D.C. for a non-profit organization. She was out there for two year and got a lot of really good life experience. While out there she met a guy, who had recently gotten out of a relationship, and started dating him. He, then, moved to Indy for a job, so for awhile, they had a long distance relationship. She would fly out here every other week or so, and he would make his way out to D.C.
So about 4 weeks ago after 8 months of dating, she moved to Indy after finding a job here to be closer to him. Three weeks after settling down, he broke up with her because he needed time to think. She knew that he had been talking to his ex but wasn't worried about it. So when I met her last week, it had been about 5 or 6 days since he had talked to her. So she had no idea what was going on or where she stood in his life. She was hoping that things were going to turn around and he would welcome her back into his life.
So, when we grabbed dinner last Friday, she told me he had finally "talked" to her. While g-chatting, he divulged that he had only been using her and that he wants to marry his ex. Basically just kicked her to the curb.
As she told me her story she still had a smile on her face and seemed happy with life. Of course she is sad and is dealing with the break-up, but she is still optimistic about life. Because she had moved out here to be with him, she's decided to get out and make Indy her own. She's making new friends and moving on with her life.
So while her story makes me sad, and my heart hurts for her, I take comfort in her story. Knowing that there are other people who are going/have gone through similar (in this case worst) circumstances makes the world feel just a little bit smaller. It helps us to see each other as people instead of individuals going through life. It helps you to see that number one, you are not alone in your pain and hurt; and number two you are not alone in your suffering.
Despite the fact that she is younger than me, I think she has a lot to teach me. She moved to D.C. from the Midwest after college to a brand new city. She then did it again to be closer to her boyfriend, who she is not dating anymore. To me this takes a lot of courage! I think she's an incredibly brave. In my life, I have always "needed" someone there with me when trying out new things. I am going to take a page from her book and be brave. She gives me more inspiration and determination to eventually become a travel nurse. While I think it would be cool to get to live at different places around the country for short periods of time, the idea frightens me as well. I'm not very good at being alone and not knowing many people around me. But she gives me hope and inspiration to do so. She gives me courage to fly and pursue those interests in which I don't know that I "can" do. I hope to get to know her better and, most definitely, become better friends.
Anyway ...
Her situation makes me think of one of my favorite Sara Bareilles song; I know that with time, she'll feel strong and be on her own.
"Bluebird"
Word came through in a letter,
One of us changing our minds.
You won't need to guess who
Since I usually do not send letters to me
That are mine
I told him I saw this coming,
That I'd practically packed up my things.
I was glad at the time that I said I was fine
But all honesty knows, I wasn't ready, no
And so here we go bluebird,
Back to the sky on your own.
Oh, let him go bluebird,
Ready to fly,
You and I,
Here we go.
Here we go.
This pair of wings worn and rusted,
From too many years by my side.
They can carry me, swear to be,
Sturdy and strong but see,
Turning them on still means goodbye.
And so here we go bluebird,
Gather your strength and rise up.
Oh, let him go bluebird
Oh, let him go bluebird
Oh, let him go bluebird
Ready to fly,
You and I,
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go...

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